That's right, I feel like I can't catch up. The other night I fell asleep on the couch at 9:30pm and woke up at 6:30AM with my flip flops still on. I feel disconnected. I miss myself. I feel invisable. And I'm crying. At this point in which everything is coming together why I do I feel so lost and alone? I feel as though I am going through motions and that I didn't even see January / February. Maybe everything is catching up to me, and my anger is JUST coming out. Everyone wants to know how Nathan is doing, but I wonder how many stop to think how I am doing? Or maybe I'm just having an extra moody day.
I'm SO tired of doing it all, the cleaning, working, Nathan, the house, banking, making ends meet, putting up a front. Going to work and listen to everyone bitch about something or someone. Staying strong. Anyways...
Now, I'm left feeling like shit. Back to my life acting as nothing is wrong. Sure, I have alot on my plate and it isn't an excuse, everyone has crap they have to deal with. My emotions are on overload and I don't know how to express them. I just want to curl up, take a day off FROM EVERYTHING!!
You're not alone. Across the globe people are feeling exactly what you are, looking for the same answers you are looking for.
ReplyDeleteLife is about choices.
You can choose to be a lighthouse, a beacon in the dark night to bring lost ships safely to shore or you can be the ship scanning the horizon searching for hope and mercy.
Everybody switches back and forth.
Take a break and take that cute little nephew of mine somewhere FUN! Kick it!
Love you.
Thanks Steve, for your comment and your phone call. We're just heading out the door shortly for a drive. Going to pump some music, and see where a road takes us. Don't worry, I got my camera.
ReplyDelete