Yep.. the time has come for Nathan to start his intence therapy. I am overwhelmed with feelings.. all the usual, excited, nervous, anxious... but most of all kinda scared. He is going to be 4 in just a couple of weeks. And sometimes he is just so 'normal' to me.. I mean.. Like, he's charming, so happy and fun. Even within the last couple of months his language blows me away.
I have been overcome with memories this last week, of compairing where he is now to where he used to be. My biggest fear is they are going to come over and Nathan is going to be gold and they are going to say.. there is nothing wrong with this child! Remember, he was only confirmed 3 months ago, as I just shake my head and laugh at myself. I know he still has alot of issues, and random acts of foolishness. Also, I have nothing to compare to. He is still delayed. I know that, but I also see his accomplishments that might be putting a bit of denial between us. I never thought I was one for denial, I feel as though I have accepted him and just dealt day to day. Who knows?
I wish I was better at putting this post into words.. as I feel this is important to me. And would like to remember exactly how I am feeling at this point. I guess, it can be compaired to a mother sending their child off to school that first day. Only, this is crucial to his development, as a normal school is crucial to a typical child. This is going to prepare Nathan to go to school.
I went to the Autism Resourse centre just a couple of days ago, and had a heartwarming chat with a mother there of a daughter who is now 5 and going to school and has been treated with the centre since she was 2. She is bringing her daughter to see the same phychologish that I brought Nathan to, and she told me that he said, if he didn't know this child, just coming off the streets.. that he would think there was nothing wrong.. just a typical little girl. This to me, was very gratifying to hear. I'm kinda blind to what they are going to teach Nathan in this year. Monday to Friday for a FULL year.. overwhelming, huh ?!
I mentioned that I have been overcome with memories.. and I would like to share, and 'diary' those moments with you.. But, I am going to save those for when I have more time in another post. Right now, my mind is jumbled with accomplishments, how I dealt with situations, how I covered for him in public and in my marriage, what he used to be like to my wits end... the tears and laughter and encouragement for the future.
I would like to release in my online diary the sorrows as well as the joy.. but knowing that my family and friends are going to share those with me here, it is difficult.. but I must say, since starting this blog it has allowed me the oppurtunity in words to open up, which is my goal in admitting.
I have been overcome with memories this last week, of compairing where he is now to where he used to be. My biggest fear is they are going to come over and Nathan is going to be gold and they are going to say.. there is nothing wrong with this child! Remember, he was only confirmed 3 months ago, as I just shake my head and laugh at myself. I know he still has alot of issues, and random acts of foolishness. Also, I have nothing to compare to. He is still delayed. I know that, but I also see his accomplishments that might be putting a bit of denial between us. I never thought I was one for denial, I feel as though I have accepted him and just dealt day to day. Who knows?
I wish I was better at putting this post into words.. as I feel this is important to me. And would like to remember exactly how I am feeling at this point. I guess, it can be compaired to a mother sending their child off to school that first day. Only, this is crucial to his development, as a normal school is crucial to a typical child. This is going to prepare Nathan to go to school.
I went to the Autism Resourse centre just a couple of days ago, and had a heartwarming chat with a mother there of a daughter who is now 5 and going to school and has been treated with the centre since she was 2. She is bringing her daughter to see the same phychologish that I brought Nathan to, and she told me that he said, if he didn't know this child, just coming off the streets.. that he would think there was nothing wrong.. just a typical little girl. This to me, was very gratifying to hear. I'm kinda blind to what they are going to teach Nathan in this year. Monday to Friday for a FULL year.. overwhelming, huh ?!
I mentioned that I have been overcome with memories.. and I would like to share, and 'diary' those moments with you.. But, I am going to save those for when I have more time in another post. Right now, my mind is jumbled with accomplishments, how I dealt with situations, how I covered for him in public and in my marriage, what he used to be like to my wits end... the tears and laughter and encouragement for the future.
I would like to release in my online diary the sorrows as well as the joy.. but knowing that my family and friends are going to share those with me here, it is difficult.. but I must say, since starting this blog it has allowed me the oppurtunity in words to open up, which is my goal in admitting.
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